so, when you order a pizza, do you then have “reasonable expectations” as to when said “order” should arrive? hmmmm well in the deep dark case of red brick pizza (tech ridge location) it’s left to the ether. when, maybe … YES… hmm… grrr, NO! do they offer an alternative? no. do they tell you about billing (online) when you have selected your wares? ummm, NO. do they EVER deliver a pizza? well, if that day ever comes i pity the delivery guy. will he scuttle back to base with tales of my blacklisted ass-hole-io-ness?? most certainly. i order a pizza, i get confirmation of said pizza, i wait for pizza, i call the outlet and ??? 2.5 hours later but NO pizza!? also no explanation. no “customer service.” nada. i mean, i could just go to HEB and get that kind of abuse WITH  my purchase. i wonder, what do you offer to the consumer, “red brick oven”??? i can always get a kick in the @#@$@ from the IRS. you lost your only chance. i hate you.

I concur with his findings: Red Brick Pizza SUCKS. Also, their number is apparently listed incorrectly both on the flyer we received AND in the “confirmation email” that told us our pizza was being processed. Who DOES that?!

UPDATE: 22 FEBRUARY 2010

After forwarding a copy of this guest post to Red Brick Pizza via their online contact form, we received a voicemail message (duh, we screen all our calls) from someone claiming to be in charge of this joint, asking us to please return the call so he could apologize personally. We were a bit flabbergasted by this request, seeing as there was no particular incentive to do so (i.e. there were no mentions of a free pizza, in exchange for the one owed us), and thus have chosen not to respond.

As an aside, here are some helpful hints for those making phone apologies to us in the future: be sincere, leave an actual apology in your voicemail (i.e. don’t ask us to make the effort to follow up when you were the one who screwed up!), and make us a deal!

Perhaps there’s a free pizza out there with our names on it, but Angry Monkey Butler and I don’t particularly care, at this point. As my mama used to say: First impressions are often last impressions, Red Brick Pizza. Why don’t you go carve that on your tombstone, cus you’re dead to me!