Friends, I love me some free magazines. Especially the type that come with coupons, to indulge my Shoestring lifestyle. And I’ve got nothing against H-E-B; they have great low prices, and lots of excellent items like my favorite Butter Chicken sauce (not to mention delicious Central Market wares). But I’ve gotta say, I’m not sure what’s going on in their My Texas Life letters section.
Seriously, I haven’t seen such indulgent, over-the-top fantasies since Penthouse Forum.
Exhibit A:
From the May 2010 issue of H-E-B's My Texas Life magazine
The text of the top letter reads as follows:
Dear My H-E-B Texas Life Staff,
My boyfriend and I have talked about an engagement and marriage for over a year. However, a ring hadn’t been in our budget, much less a wedding! Thanks to the in-store savings and the coupons in your magazine, I am finally engaged and have a ring to show off! The night that my fiancé proposed, I prepared the Moroccan Roasted Chicken Dinner. The evening turned out perfect! Thank you for everything! Especially the super savings and delicious recipes!
Brittni, Cherokee
While I, too, appreciate the magazine’s savings and delicious recipes, I question the idea that shopping at H-E-B and reading this magazine magically created enough money for a wedding ring. How much did this wedding ring cost, 40 bucks? I mean, there are some good coupons in there, but it’s not like they are giving away groceries for free! A dollar off here and a two-for-one there doesn’t really add up to that much cash, and if the coupons are for things you wouldn’t normally buy, it’s not really saving you money, is it?
But maybe I’m missing the point, which is actually in the left-hand sidebar on the same page:
Aha! Brittni received a $25 H-E-B gift card for writing in, plus an unspecified “small gift”! Maybe the gift was an H-E-B wedding ring?
I’m gonna have to write a letter to My Texas Life myself and see what crops up!
So, Brittni, if you’re out there, please share your secrets with the rest of the class. And if you’re imaginary (as I suspect you may be), well… at least there’s still plenty of dollar-off coupons for H-E-B brand products in the mag to keep my hopes of one day affording the honeymoon my husband and I never had alive.
P.S. The letter from “George and Alice” is pretty fantastical too. Her husband learned how to cook from reading the H-E-B magazine?! I suspect he just never put forth the effort in the first place, to avoid a domestic chore, but maybe I’m just being cynical.
