Posts Tagged ‘Celebrity Intern’

San Antonio staycation: Ye Kendall Inn


2010
08.31

Celebrity Intern and I were down San Antonio way just a few weeks back, on an overnight, mid-week trip with both business and pleasure involved. Call it a getaway if you like, or perhaps a staycation—not quite a vacation, but a night away from home. Armed with a gift certificate from a former employer, I had made reservations at a hotel in nearby Boerne, Texas at a place called Ye Kendall Inn. After the business part of the trip had concluded, we lit out for the hotel in search of rest, relaxation and plenty of wine!

Ye Kendall Inn, front view (photo via Ye Kendall Inn)

Ye Kendall Inn is an historic landmark for both Texas and the U.S. at large, having put a variety of famous people up for the night, including rebel shit-disturber leader Jefferson Davis, atom-bomb opponent and former President Dwight D. Eisenhower and southern Civil War general Robert E. Lee. First purchased for only $200, the Inn was built by a couple named Erastus and Sarah Reed, who rented out spare rooms to stagecoach travelers of the 1850s. The Inn itself is built of solid limestone, 20 inches thick, which keeps things cool in the summertime (though they’ve now got A/C like any modern hotel deep in the heart of Texas), and there are several independent cabins and suites that give the hotel a very old-timey appeal.

The room we stayed in was called the Carriage House, and was a free-standing structure behind the main Inn. Surrounded by 3 other cabins and a former church (the St. John’s Suite), it was almost like being plunked into the middle of an Old West town, complete with rocking chairs on the porches, a tin roof and little “Welcome!” signs on each door.

Carriage House, interior (photo via Ye Kendall Inn)

Inside, the cabin was a mixture of old fashioned furnishings and modern comforts. The vintage dresser was topped with a high-definition flatscreen TV, and there were both uneven limestone floors and free wifi throughout. The bed was plumped with decorative pillows, and was nearly tall enough to require steps to climb into it. In the bathroom was a fabulous claw-foot bathtub, perfect for soaking in after our long drive, as well as a vanity furnished with Neutrogena bath products. Nice!

Reading the guestbook, we found that the ice machine was housed in a white gazebo off the Inn’s suites, so we stocked up on ice, uncorked a bottle of red wine, and chilled a few beers (and our complimentary bottles of water) in the sink. Cranking up the A/C, we clinked our glasses and kicked back with a few episodes on the Food Network and Discovery Channel.

Eventually, it was time to dine in the Inn’s award-winning Limestone Grille, whose menu we’d perused online. I had already selected the Prime Rib Wednesday special (which includes soup or salad, Porcini Four Cheese Potatoes, and Peach Cobbler for dessert) but Celebrity Intern was gunning for the special of the day, which turned out to be Sea Scallops in a mango sauce with couscous on the side. Torn between red and white wine, we decided to order by the glass, with a red Meeker “Roller Coaster” for me and a white Gary Farrell chardonnay for Celebrity Intern. Yum!

Limestone Grille (photo via Ye Kendall Inn)

We both started off with their Wild Mushroom Gorgonzola soup, and were ready to lick the bowls clean. Delicious doesn’t do it justice: the mushrooms were tender, the Gorgonzola tangy, and the creamy soup was fantastic. Homemade bread and butter was also well received, and used to mop up excess soup. Cus we’re classy like that.

Our main courses arrived, to much oohing and ahhing. My prime rib was tasty, crusted in sea salt and served with horseradish dip on the side, into which I dipped modestly, preferring to savor the meat itself. The four-cheese potatoes were decadent and delicious, but ultimately I couldn’t finish them all. Dare I utter the unthinkable? There was too much food! And I still had dessert?!

Celebrity Intern was happy with his jumbo-sized scallops, but was nevertheless a bit peeved that the waitress had promised 5 and he had only gotten 4. Despite the mixing of savory and sweet (the mango chutney sauce), he enjoyed the dish and studiously avoided the couscous carbs.

Dessert was meant to be a Peach Cobbler, but I sneakily asked for a substitution and got the Aztec Brownie instead. The waitress did warn me that they kept on changing the recipe, but even so, I wasn’t prepared for the enormity of the brownie presented, nor the overwhelming volcano of cherry coulis. Drizzled? This thing was drenched!

As the table behind us, full up with Old Money jackholes, began tossing out nonsensical topics of conversation such as “Obamacare is going to ruin us all,” and “Why haven’t they impeached that n***** yet?”, we decided to retire to our cabin both to avoid stabbing them in the eyes with our forks and to prevent our own deaths by chocolate. We paid the bill (after gift certificate and including a tip, totalling $20) and brought the brownie with us for later consumption.

Waco Cabin, exterior (photo by Celebrity Intern)

Despite clueless, small-town nincompoops and their racist remarks, the dinner was quite delightful, and if I ever have a couple hundred bucks collecting dust in my account, I’d definitely return. The Inn and restaurant overlook the nearby Cibolo Creek, and when we checked out the next day, we saw staff setting up for what appeared to be a wedding party. Definitely a sweet place to retreat after your big day, and the St. John’s Suite is even described in hotel literature as perfect for honeymooners.

All in all, I’d recommend both Ye Kendall Inn and their Limestone Grille to anyone in the Boerne/San Antonio area needing a little getaway. Guest rooms don’t come cheap, starting at $109 a night, but if you’re in the mood for a romantic getaway, this would be a great place for it. Heck, we didn’t even get a chance to try out their Texas-sized hot tub, but that right there is reason enough to hit up this historic inn.

Texas-sized hot tub at Ye Kendall Inn

Central Market


2010
08.01

Having recently gotten access to a vehicle, at long last (halleluia! cus despite my previous glowing review at Gifted Travel, Capital Metro SUCKS!), Celebrity Intern and I once again have access to the joys of Central Market. In case you live in Austin and are somehow not aware of this gem, Central Market is essentially a bigger, better (?) version of Whole Foods, full of organic and specialty foodie goods, often at cheaper prices than its Austin cousin.

Whoa. Hold it right there. I haven’t even covered Whole Foods yet, have I? Okay, let’s step back a bit. First, Whole Foods is known pretty much nationwide as an upscale grocery store, with all kinds of vegetarian and vegan-friendly fare, plus everything for anyone with special dietary needs, whether it’s gluten-free, low-carb, sugar-free, or just straight-up organic you’re looking for. It’s both the yuppie and the hippie’s wet-dream, which seems contradictory, but no! So, while you’re bound to find a lot of righteous, left-leaning types shopping there, many of whom embrace the Birkenstock sandal (with or without socks), you’re also bound to find a lot of farm-fresh produce, a vast collection of locally-made goods, and lots of preservative-free options. Whole Foods is very groovy, but also very pricey, leading some to jokingly call it Whole Paycheck.

Whole Foods was an Austin original, back in the day, specializing in organic and natural products. It’s now pretty much taken over the entire U.S. and part of the U.K., so if you’ve never heard of this place, you’re clearly living off the grid and grow your own fruit and veggies, slaughter your own meat, and have no need of their paltry contributions to living well. (And I envy you mightily!)

In response to Whole Foods’ runaway success, Central Market was born, providing a direct competitor to the Whole Foods crown. These guys are based in Texas as well, and focus on locally-made items, as well as bringing food for the foodie, plus in-store cooking classes for the culinarily inclined (check out their upcoming Summer in Málaga course on Spanish cooking with Alex Duran, Executive Chef & Co-Owner of Málaga Tapas & Bar on Aug. 11).

They also have some pretty kick-ass chefs whipping up delicious homemade meals for those on the go. So today I wanted to single out their Dinner For 2 options, which are posted on the website and can be downloaded as a PDF on a monthly basis. Dinners For 2 usually costs around $15 or less (the ones we saw in store on Saturday were $12.50, I believe), which is pretty phenomenal for the quality of food you’re getting. It’s like eating in a restaurant, but in the comfort of your own home.

Here’s a sample menu from the week of August 2 through 8:

  • Monday: Chicken Poblano Enchiladas, Spanish Rice, Borracho Beans, CM Flour Tortillas
  • Tuesday: Buttermilk Pecan Chicken, Whipped Sweet Potatoes , Green Beans Amandine, Honey Wheat Rolls
  • Wednesday: Puerco Guisada, Lemon Scented Basmati Rice, Romaine Salad w/ Corn Salsa and Ranch Dressing, CM Flour Tortillas
  • Thursday: Turkey Chile Meatloaf, Yukon Garlic Mashed Potatoes, Green Beans Amandine, Honey Whole Wheat Dinner Rolls
  • Friday: Almond-Crusted Tilapia, Golden Rice Pilaf, Creamed Spinach, Mini Baguettes
  • Saturday: Chicken Cordon Bleu, Creamed Spinach, Roasted Rosemary Potatoes, Mini Baguettes
  • Sunday: Honey Garlic Flank Steak, Vegetable Fried Rice, Carrot and Snap Pea Saute, Dinner Rolls

Perfectly balanced meals of meat, vegetables, starches and bread for soppin’ or dippin’; what more could you ask for?

If you said dessert, you’re clearly a gourmand. But don’t worry: Central Market has their own patisserie on hand for all your cookie, brownie, cake, pie, tart, parfait and chocolate needs (see a delicious example at right). Yum!

Seriously, if you haven’t experienced the thrills of freshly-ground organic coffee, raw-milk cheese, or a selection of saké that’ll make your head spin, then you’ll want to check out Central Market. With two locations in Austin one at North Lamar (4001 N. Lamar Blvd.) and one at Westgate (4477 S. Lamar Blvd.), plus several Café On The Run locations in H-E-Bs across Austin, you’re sure to find something delicious for less. Bon appétit, frugal foodies!

Frugal Fun: Internet radio


2010
07.25

Okay, y’all, I must admit that while I am a pretty frugal person by nature, sometimes there are things even I don’t realize that are free and totally worth checking out. For instance, the exciting world of Internet radio. Thanks to Celebrity Intern, I’ve recently discovered the brilliant tab on my iTunes labelled “RADIO,” and the vast wealth of tunes contained therein!

Don't touch that dial! Wait, what dial?

The first radio station I found that truly kicks ass is under the Classical heading. Before you roll your eyes and surf to the next blog on your To Do list, hear me out! The station you want is called Venice Classic Radio, and it plays excellent non-stop classical music of all genres (i.e. early, baroque, chamber, symphony and even opera), and only interrupts the tunes for a short station tag with a woman saying “Venice Classic Radio – beautiful classical music!” in a funky Italian accent. I have been imitating her all week long, asking if my cat wants to listen to BOOO-tee-full claaaaahsical mooooosique” and he, in turn, has been giving me the wide-eyed “you crazy” stare.

Ned says: "Human, you CRAZY!"

Something like that, but usually with less tongue and more terror.

Anyway, after that I started clicking around on the other stations in other genres to see what tricks they had up their sleeves. And it’s a goldmine!

If you like the blues—and I mean real blues music that’s got heart and soul and is played by the people who wrote it, not the bastard versions covered by popular bands like Led Zeppelin and (god forbid) Eric effin’ Clapton—you must check out the appropriately named Blues Classics channel, featuring American blues from the 1930s to the 70s. Right now, for example, they’re playing Louise Johnson singing “Long Way From Home.” Pretty much everything on there is golden, Ponyboy.

Another great one for the golden oldies is JAZZRADIO.com’s Swing and Big Band station, though if you are a jazz connoisseur, you will probably want to check out all of their stations to find the genre that best suits your tastes, as they’ve got everything from cool to hot, bebop to funk, Latin jazz, piano trios, and even divide things up by instrument and contemporary or classic vocalists. Get hep!

Now, in the realm of stand-up comedy, you’re also in luck, cus Comedy Pipe Radio Network is spinning everything from old George Carlin rekkids to David Sedaris reading his humorous books to Margaret Cho screaming “Her fucking pussy exploded!!!!” Seriously, these people play everything, and whole albums too, not just a few bits here and there. Full-on comedy, totally uncensored, as it should be. Awesome.

I must say, I find it hilarious that the CBC (that’s Canada’s national radio station, FYI) gets listed under “Adult Contemporary,” a genre I recommend avoiding at all costs. Unless you are 100 years old and living in a nursing home, or are trapped under something very, very heavy. Okay, to be fair: the not-entirely-weak CBC Radio 3—an online-only station that features 100% CanCon, a very dubious designation indeed—made it to the “Alternative Rock” category. I will blame this on the fact that while CanCon can be extremely weak (i.e. the usual suspects: Celine Dion, Avril Lavigne, Rush, etc.), sometimes Canadians can be very cool. For instance:

One of the reasons Canadians actually do rock: David Suzuki's "Playlist for the Planet"

If you don’t know who David Suzuki is, you should definitely look him up. He’s about the coolest Canadian I can think of, and not just because of his naughty fig-leaf photo and dashing good looks!

Also weirdly miscategorized is Austin’s own BOB-FM, the station famous for its slogan “We play anything.” Currently they’re rocking Michael Jackson’s “Thriller,” which hardly falls under the “Adult Contemporary” genre, but maybe someone at iTunes is confusing the concepts of “Adult” (aka pr0n) with “Adult Contemporary”?

Looking for something different? Scan through the 705 offerings in the International/World music offerings; you’re sure to find something to catch your fancy. Maybe even AM 940 Hawaii, featuring all traditional Hawaiian music 24/7?

One of the stations I really want to like, but which has been streaming some truly annoying artists today, is the all-female music station, KGRL. (Don’t be fooled; when they say “flower-powered” they’re not talking about hippies, if you catch my drift.) As a lady, I do like hunting down chicks who rock in the often male-dominated music world. But Chantal Kreviazuk? You’ve got to be kidding me (yet another instance of CanCon suckitude!). Also, if the station’s supposed to be “sugar-free,” then she violates your first tenet right there. However, they did just introduce me to Dragonette, a Canadian band that rocks 80′s style. So if you like chick-rock, check it out. For me, the jury’s still out, cus I’d like to see some more Joan Jett, Ani DiFranco, Hole types of ladies dominating this station.

And if you’ve got rather, um… let’s just call it special taste in music, do check out both Zappa Radio (the home of Frank Zappa and the Zappa Family Trust) and GothVille Radio (“dark music for people dressed in black”).

You can also find pretty much any major city’s radio stations, like the “world-famous KROQ” (out of L.A.) and K-Rock (out of NYC), both of which are, oddly enough, “alternative stations” playing most the music the kids are diggin’ these days. Bi-coastal, baby!

Got any recommendations for iTunes radio stations you’ve been grooving on lately?

Thai Kitchen disappointment: not enough heat!


2010
07.08

As a Thai food enthusiast, I have been checking out the wares of the grocery stores near my house every time Celebrity Intern and I venture forth on a food-gathering mission, hoping that some kind of spicy green chili paste will magically appear. While at Randalls the other day, joy of joys! We spotted a jar of Thai Kitchen’s Green Curry 10-Minute Simmer Sauce, and snatched it up. The ingredients looked right, and I told Celebrity Intern that I was sure I had tried their concentrated Green Curry Paste before and it had been just the right level of spiciness.

After sautéing up some chicken, letting it simmer in the simmer sauce for the allotted time, and having steamed some broccoli and cauliflower to complete the meal, I served it up with some fancy looking sprigs of cilantro on top:

A disappointment, brought to you by Thai Kitchen's Green Chili Simmer Sauce

Looks tasty, right? Well, it would’ve been, except for the fact that Thai Kitchen’s Green Curry 10-Minute Simmer Sauce is apparently totally lacking in green chili! WTF?! Although green chili is one of the ingredients listed on the bottle (under “green curry paste,” it is the primary ingredient), it tasted to us like there was nothing spicy in the jar at all. I don’t think I even tasted any garlic or lemongrass, so I fired off an email to Thai Kitchen inquiring therein.

The result? NADA. It’s been two weeks and not even a “thank you for your comments!” email in return. Therefore, I must strongly advise Thai-lovers out there to avoid this product. It is bland in the extreme and, frankly, we would have had a better tasting sauce if we’d just made a brown gravy to pour over our chicken.

In the meantime, we will keep on searching for the Thai spice mixtures of our dreams. Stay tuned when we finally hit up an Asian grocery!

Got any suggestions for products we can find locally that will kick our Thai meals up a notch? Any recommendations for spicy green chili would be greatly appreciated!

Juan in a Million


2010
05.23

I’ve been meaning to post about Juan in a Million for a while now, as it was one of the original suggestions from our Foodie Banker, and Celebrity Intern and I hit the place hard fiending for some breakfast tacos on a lazy Sunday.

A word to the wise: Go early. I mean, like, buttcrack-o’-dawn early! (They open at 7 AM, daily.) Otherwise, you will regret the error of your foolish, foolish ways. Especially if you’re looking for parking. OY!

Now, aside from having the most awesomely punny name in town (and me having missed this weekend’s O. Henry Pun-Off, scandal!), Juan in a Million has reportedly The Best Breakfast Tacos in Austin. This has now officially been confirmed by my co-workers, who reguarly bring in a couple of the Don Juan tacos to share. At 3 bucks (and 60 cents) a pop, and with multiple tortillas supplied to divvy the booty from “El Taco Grande” up, they can squeeze 4 breakfast tacos out of one Don Juan, so that’s some mighty fine bang for your buck!

The Don Juan and its not-so-secret ingredients, revealed! (photo by Flickr user Mike Barish)

The Don Juan comes with “a secret combination of potato, egg, bacon and cheese,” but you can also try the fajitas (beef or chicken), beef or chicken tacos, carne guisada, or guacamole tacos for significantly less fat cash (i.e. $1.95 and up). Mix and match ‘em for maximum satisfaction.

I’ll admit that I was a silly billy and went for a lunchtime menu item, the chicken enchiladas, when we first stopped by Juan’s fab taco house, but having tasted the (not-so-)secret sauce, I’ve seen the error of my ways. Sure, enchiladas are always a good bet, but their breakfast tacos are truly divine. Grab ‘em to go and win the undying loyalty of your staff by sharing them around the office!

Butter Chicken on the cheap!


2010
05.09

I’m a big fan of Indian cuisine, but I hate paying restaurant prices. It’s worse than hitting up your local sushi bar! I mean, seriously, $12 for a plate of chicken with spices (aka Butter Chicken)? I can make that shizzle at home—and better!

So I did, with the aid of Kitchens of India, an inexpeez ready-made spice packet for Butter Chicken found at my local H-E-B.

THE METHOD:

In a pan, we combined approximately 1 lb. of boneless chicken breasts, cut into small chunks, with 3 T butter (slightly more, due to Celebrity Intern’s heavy hand!), plus the contents of the Kitchens of India Butter Chicken Curry Paste packet. We mixed it up and simmered for 20 minutes under a lid. We then simmered on high for another 5 minutes, before removing from heat, covering, and letting sit for another 3 minutes. We also combined a packet of Tasty (i.e. NASTY) Bite Chunky Chickpeas, supposedly with garlic, ginger and “aromatic spices,” which I had lying in wait after a run-in with their doubly-nasty chickpea & lentil combo (a word to the wise: avoid this product at all costs and just buy yourself a can of plain chickpeas instead!). After fine-chopping some freshly-washed cilantro, we plated it up and got this:

(Photos by Celebrity Intern, who complained about the lack of natural sunlight.)

Superb! Stupendous! Only $8 for dinner for two!

Seriously, yo. Stop overpaying for Indian cuisine, and make it yo’damn-self. It’s delish, it’s inexpensive, and it’s easy to do.

Suggested wine pairings:

Cooking apps: How To Cook Everything On The Go


2010
05.02

Here at Shoestring Austin, we like to blend deliciousness with cheapness. In our quest for delicious, cheap food, we have naturally downloaded many a free cooking app from the iTunes store. Unfortunately, as with many things in life, when it comes to free cooking apps, you get what you pay for.

Enter Mark Bittman, aka “The Minimalist.” New York Times food writer Bittman is all about cooking inexpensive, minimally time-consuming recipes with good, fresh ingredients, and has written several excellent books on the subject, including the brashly titled How To Cook Everything. And now, there’s an app for that: How To Cook Everything On The Go. (Click on the link or image below to download from the iTunes store for the iPhone or iPod Touch.)

For just a buck ninety-nine ($1.99), Bitty will literally teach you how to cook everything, without having to connect to the Internet. It’s a great self-contained app that offers easy access to a wide variety of recipes, kitchen basics, ideas for quick dinners and even lists compiled by Bittman like “Top 102 Essential Recipes,” “10 Soups to Eat Hot or Cold,” “16 Sauces for Any Simply Cooked Tofu,” and “15 Meat Dishes That Are As Good or Better The Next Day.”

With Bittman’s cooking methodology, it’s all about getting good, fresh ingredients and not screwing them up. His recipes are simple (or minimalist) mainly because he will teach you how to mix and match recipe ideas with whatever you’ve got in your cupboards, how to keep the right ingredients stocked at all times, and how to quickly and easily prepare straightforward meals. Most recipes offer a “variations” tab that will show you how to change up your old favorites, to keep things interesting, and they’re often cross-linked to accompanying dishes that pair well.

Truly, a great app to invest in, and at $1.99 it’s well worth the price.

One of the recipes I’ve recently tried from the app is the Radish Salsa, which offers a unique take on an old favorite. While Bittman doesn’t include tomatoes in his recipe, Celebrity Intern saw yellow tomatoes on sale at the grocery store and couldn’t pass up a deal, so we tossed in a few for the following colorful and tasty results:

Photo (and yellow tomatoes) by Celebrity Intern

Looks great, tastes great, and can be served up solo or stuffed into the taco of your choice. Yum!

Ingredients for this salsa include: chopped radishes, English cucumber (the long skinny kind), red onion, scallions, garlic, jalapeños or serrano chiles, lemon juice cilantro and salt and pepper. Toss in a few tomatoes (red or yellow) if you like, or download the app to check out Bittman’s unique Thai-inspired variations on the theme.

Bleu Cheese Bacon Burger, Julia & Ming-Style


2010
03.07

People of Earth: hear me now, believe me later! If you love burgers, this recipe is gonna rock your world. I wouldn’t have even thought it was possible to improve upon the delicious and dead-simple cheeseburger we all know and love, but it is—and it’s not even crazy expeez, either! These are the tips (which we originally learned from watching episodes of Simply Ming and Julia Child on PBS) that will help you achieve godliness on the stove. Please note: today’s recipe is brought to you by the mad cooking skillz of Celebrity Intern, who taught me everything I know about burgers.

  1. Get good beef. What does this mean? Don’t buy the non-specified mystery meat; if they don’t tell you it’s ground round or ground chuck, you’re getting lips & assholes. Buy the good stuff: Angus beef (at least here in Texas) doesn’t cost that much more, and it’s so worth it.
  2. Baby your beef. Don’t handle the meat too much when you’re actually forming the burgers into patties. Pat it into a roughly rounded shape, but don’t try to make it perfect. The more you handle the meat, the more moisture you press out of it, and the more dry your burger will be.
  3. Searing-hot pan. Make sure your pan is hot and ready to go before you put your patties in. It should be hot enough that when you put in a pat of butter, the butter will melt but not turn brown before you put in the beef. (And yes, you are using butter to grease your pan. None of this Pam or margarine or olive oil horseshit. BUTTER!)
  4. Set it and forget it. Put in your patties and leave them be. Do not slide them around, press down on them, or otherwise meddle with the beef once it is in the pan. Let them brown for between 4 and 5 minutes before you flip them over. Do not mash them down once you’ve flipped them! Just let them do their thing. This is the secret to moist, delicious burgers.
  5. Use a thermometer. You’ll know your burgers are ready based on their inner temperature. Insert a meat thermometer and take your burgers off the heat when they’re around 130 degrees F. (Don’t worry; although most recipes will tell you to cook ground beef to 165 degrees, we’ve been eating these regularly with no ill effects, mostly since they’ll eventually get that hot even without the help of the stove. You may want to abstain, however, if you’re knocked-up—just to be on the safe side.)
  6. Cheese and cover. Put your bleu cheese on top of the burgers, which are still resting comfortably in the pan, and then cover the pan with a lid. Let the burgers sit, cheese slowly melting, for at least 5 minutes before plating them up. Use a good quality bleu cheese; we like the Salemville Amish Blue Cheese (available at Randall’s), which has been aged for 60 days. Delish!

Those are the basic steps to great burgers, even if you’re not big on the bleu cheese idea. But if you are, let us also recommend additional toppings (which you really MUST do) of bacon strips (easy to make in the microwave!), some romaine lettuce, and a bit of mashed avocado. Pure decadence, pure bliss.

Wine pairing: a delicious ($5) Chilean wine, the Frontera Carmenere, tastes fabulous with this bleu cheeseburger. Yum!

There should obviously be a tasty and succulent photo of our burgers here, but we were salivating too much to take pictures and gobbled them up before a photo shoot could be arranged! We’ll try to get one eventually, but no guarantees.

Torchy’s Tacos


2010
02.19

Celebrity Intern didn’t want to go check out Torchy’s Tacos, originally, because he claims he can “make a mean taco, like the concentrated essence of 1,000 Mexican chefs.” (I must give him that he does cook up a mighty fine taco, even though he is handicapped by his non-Mexican heritage.) Despite, the truly horrible parking, I was starving to death after a long study session day of hunting down obscure noir films at the Fine Arts library, and insisted we go.

After several attempts at parking, involving much hand-waving and finger-lifting at various psychotic Austin drivers (seriously, the 2801 Guadalupe location is a nightmare at rush hour), we were able to leave the BBT safely behind and head inside.

The atmosphere sucked, but on the plus side, the music was loud enough to drown out the cacophony of several half-retarded UT students in Uggs.

We were delightfully surprised by the tacos themselves. We got them to go, as we couldn’t stomach the crowd and its relentless burnt-orange tides. Upon unwrapping, we found our tacos slathered in fresh cilantro—the mark of deliciousness.

Celebrity Intern and I ordered three tacos amongst us: the Baja Shrimp, the Democrat and the Beef Fajita Taco. After devouring my Democrat (shredded beef barbacoa, onion, queso fresco, avocado, cilantro, lime and green sauce), I demanded half of the shrimp taco. Celebrity Intern was loathe to let go, but I wrenched it from his paw and took a bite. Sublime, the fresh snap of the shrimp! The egg-roll reminiscence of the cooked cabbage! The perfect spiciness of the pickled onions and jalapenos! I think I had a mouthgasm.

Celebrity Intern remarked that his Beef Fajita had “glorious, charred strips of beef,” so much so that although he hates grilled peppers, he didn’t even notice their presence amongst the cheese and the pico.

We both wanted to go back for another round. Or five. Torchy’s, we salute you and your Damn Good Tacos.