Celebrity Intern and I were down San Antonio way just a few weeks back, on an overnight, mid-week trip with both business and pleasure involved. Call it a getaway if you like, or perhaps a staycation—not quite a vacation, but a night away from home. Armed with a gift certificate from a former employer, I had made reservations at a hotel in nearby Boerne, Texas at a place called Ye Kendall Inn. After the business part of the trip had concluded, we lit out for the hotel in search of rest, relaxation and plenty of wine!

Ye Kendall Inn, front view (photo via Ye Kendall Inn)

Ye Kendall Inn is an historic landmark for both Texas and the U.S. at large, having put a variety of famous people up for the night, including rebel shit-disturber leader Jefferson Davis, atom-bomb opponent and former President Dwight D. Eisenhower and southern Civil War general Robert E. Lee. First purchased for only $200, the Inn was built by a couple named Erastus and Sarah Reed, who rented out spare rooms to stagecoach travelers of the 1850s. The Inn itself is built of solid limestone, 20 inches thick, which keeps things cool in the summertime (though they’ve now got A/C like any modern hotel deep in the heart of Texas), and there are several independent cabins and suites that give the hotel a very old-timey appeal.

The room we stayed in was called the Carriage House, and was a free-standing structure behind the main Inn. Surrounded by 3 other cabins and a former church (the St. John’s Suite), it was almost like being plunked into the middle of an Old West town, complete with rocking chairs on the porches, a tin roof and little “Welcome!” signs on each door.

Carriage House, interior (photo via Ye Kendall Inn)

Inside, the cabin was a mixture of old fashioned furnishings and modern comforts. The vintage dresser was topped with a high-definition flatscreen TV, and there were both uneven limestone floors and free wifi throughout. The bed was plumped with decorative pillows, and was nearly tall enough to require steps to climb into it. In the bathroom was a fabulous claw-foot bathtub, perfect for soaking in after our long drive, as well as a vanity furnished with Neutrogena bath products. Nice!

Reading the guestbook, we found that the ice machine was housed in a white gazebo off the Inn’s suites, so we stocked up on ice, uncorked a bottle of red wine, and chilled a few beers (and our complimentary bottles of water) in the sink. Cranking up the A/C, we clinked our glasses and kicked back with a few episodes on the Food Network and Discovery Channel.

Eventually, it was time to dine in the Inn’s award-winning Limestone Grille, whose menu we’d perused online. I had already selected the Prime Rib Wednesday special (which includes soup or salad, Porcini Four Cheese Potatoes, and Peach Cobbler for dessert) but Celebrity Intern was gunning for the special of the day, which turned out to be Sea Scallops in a mango sauce with couscous on the side. Torn between red and white wine, we decided to order by the glass, with a red Meeker “Roller Coaster” for me and a white Gary Farrell chardonnay for Celebrity Intern. Yum!

Limestone Grille (photo via Ye Kendall Inn)

We both started off with their Wild Mushroom Gorgonzola soup, and were ready to lick the bowls clean. Delicious doesn’t do it justice: the mushrooms were tender, the Gorgonzola tangy, and the creamy soup was fantastic. Homemade bread and butter was also well received, and used to mop up excess soup. Cus we’re classy like that.

Our main courses arrived, to much oohing and ahhing. My prime rib was tasty, crusted in sea salt and served with horseradish dip on the side, into which I dipped modestly, preferring to savor the meat itself. The four-cheese potatoes were decadent and delicious, but ultimately I couldn’t finish them all. Dare I utter the unthinkable? There was too much food! And I still had dessert?!

Celebrity Intern was happy with his jumbo-sized scallops, but was nevertheless a bit peeved that the waitress had promised 5 and he had only gotten 4. Despite the mixing of savory and sweet (the mango chutney sauce), he enjoyed the dish and studiously avoided the couscous carbs.

Dessert was meant to be a Peach Cobbler, but I sneakily asked for a substitution and got the Aztec Brownie instead. The waitress did warn me that they kept on changing the recipe, but even so, I wasn’t prepared for the enormity of the brownie presented, nor the overwhelming volcano of cherry coulis. Drizzled? This thing was drenched!

As the table behind us, full up with Old Money jackholes, began tossing out nonsensical topics of conversation such as “Obamacare is going to ruin us all,” and “Why haven’t they impeached that n***** yet?”, we decided to retire to our cabin both to avoid stabbing them in the eyes with our forks and to prevent our own deaths by chocolate. We paid the bill (after gift certificate and including a tip, totalling $20) and brought the brownie with us for later consumption.

Waco Cabin, exterior (photo by Celebrity Intern)

Despite clueless, small-town nincompoops and their racist remarks, the dinner was quite delightful, and if I ever have a couple hundred bucks collecting dust in my account, I’d definitely return. The Inn and restaurant overlook the nearby Cibolo Creek, and when we checked out the next day, we saw staff setting up for what appeared to be a wedding party. Definitely a sweet place to retreat after your big day, and the St. John’s Suite is even described in hotel literature as perfect for honeymooners.

All in all, I’d recommend both Ye Kendall Inn and their Limestone Grille to anyone in the Boerne/San Antonio area needing a little getaway. Guest rooms don’t come cheap, starting at $109 a night, but if you’re in the mood for a romantic getaway, this would be a great place for it. Heck, we didn’t even get a chance to try out their Texas-sized hot tub, but that right there is reason enough to hit up this historic inn.

Texas-sized hot tub at Ye Kendall Inn