Whoa. Hold it right there. I haven’t even covered Whole Foods yet, have I? Okay, let’s step back a bit. First, Whole Foods is known pretty much nationwide as an upscale grocery store, with all kinds of vegetarian and vegan-friendly fare, plus everything for anyone with special dietary needs, whether it’s gluten-free, low-carb, sugar-free, or just straight-up organic you’re looking for. It’s both the yuppie and the hippie’s wet-dream, which seems contradictory, but no! So, while you’re bound to find a lot of righteous, left-leaning types shopping there, many of whom embrace the Birkenstock sandal (with or without socks), you’re also bound to find a lot of farm-fresh produce, a vast collection of locally-made goods, and lots of preservative-free options. Whole Foods is very groovy, but also very pricey, leading some to jokingly call it Whole Paycheck.

Whole Foods was an Austin original, back in the day, specializing in organic and natural products. It’s now pretty much taken over the entire U.S. and part of the U.K., so if you’ve never heard of this place, you’re clearly living off the grid and grow your own fruit and veggies, slaughter your own meat, and have no need of their paltry contributions to living well. (And I envy you mightily!)

In response to Whole Foods’ runaway success, Central Market was born, providing a direct competitor to the Whole Foods crown. These guys are based in Texas as well, and focus on locally-made items, as well as bringing food for the foodie, plus in-store cooking classes for the culinarily inclined (check out their upcoming Summer in Málaga course on Spanish cooking with Alex Duran, Executive Chef & Co-Owner of Málaga Tapas & Bar on Aug. 11).

They also have some pretty kick-ass chefs whipping up delicious homemade meals for those on the go. So today I wanted to single out their Dinner For 2 options, which are posted on the website and can be downloaded as a PDF on a monthly basis. Dinners For 2 usually costs around $15 or less (the ones we saw in store on Saturday were $12.50, I believe), which is pretty phenomenal for the quality of food you’re getting. It’s like eating in a restaurant, but in the comfort of your own home.

Here’s a sample menu from the week of August 2 through 8:

• Monday: Chicken Poblano Enchiladas, Spanish Rice, Borracho Beans, CM Flour Tortillas
• Tuesday: Buttermilk Pecan Chicken, Whipped Sweet Potatoes , Green Beans Amandine, Honey Wheat Rolls
• Wednesday: Puerco Guisada, Lemon Scented Basmati Rice, Romaine Salad w/ Corn Salsa and Ranch Dressing, CM Flour Tortillas
• Thursday: Turkey Chile Meatloaf, Yukon Garlic Mashed Potatoes, Green Beans Amandine, Honey Whole Wheat Dinner Rolls
• Friday: Almond-Crusted Tilapia, Golden Rice Pilaf, Creamed Spinach, Mini Baguettes
• Saturday: Chicken Cordon Bleu, Creamed Spinach, Roasted Rosemary Potatoes, Mini Baguettes
• Sunday: Honey Garlic Flank Steak, Vegetable Fried Rice, Carrot and Snap Pea Saute, Dinner Rolls

Perfectly balanced meals of meat, vegetables, starches and bread for soppin’ or dippin’; what more could you ask for?

If you said dessert, you’re clearly a gourmand. But don’t worry: Central Market has their own patisserie on hand for all your cookie, brownie, cake, pie, tart, parfait and chocolate needs (see a delicious example at right). Yum!

Seriously, if you haven’t experienced the thrills of freshly-ground organic coffee, raw-milk cheese, or a selection of saké that’ll make your head spin, then you’ll want to check out Central Market. With two locations in Austin one at North Lamar (4001 N. Lamar Blvd.) and one at Westgate (4477 S. Lamar Blvd.), plus several Café On The Run locations in H-E-Bs across Austin, you’re sure to find something delicious for less. Bon appétit, frugal foodies!

Old El Paso isn’t being particularly singled out here; it’s just one example among many. People seem to think that you need “taco seasoning,” purchased in a packet such as this one, in order to make great tacos.

This is a lie.

The way to great tacos, my friends, lies in combining just five important seasonings you probably already own. They are:

• chili powder
• cayenne pepper
• cumin
• oregano
• salt

You can also toss in some ground coriander seed, to bump up the corianderliciousness of your cilantro leaves (sprinkled over the top of the finished dish), but it’s purely optional. If you’ve got chili powder, cayenne, cumin, oregano and salt, you’ve got it made in the shade. Enough with the pre-packaged “taco seasoning”! Free your kitchen of this sodium-laden packet of injustice, and marinate your meat in deliciousness.

DIRECTIONS:

1. Brown about a pound of ground beef (or pork, or chicken, or whatever) in a buttered skillet.
2. Chuck in your minced garlic (2 or 3 good sized cloves) and chopped red onion or shallot.
3. Add your spices, as mentioned above, plus about a cup of water to create the “sauce.” My spice ratio is about a teaspoon to a tablespoon each of the coriander seed, oregano and cayenne pepper, plus about 1/8 of a cup of both cumin and chili powder; adjust these as you please for heat and general taste, adding more if you like it more savory. Simmer down your sauce, stirring occasionally, until most of the water has evaporated—about 10 minutes or so.
4. Spread on your favorite tortilla, garnish as desired, and enjoy. Suggested garnishes include: lettuce, tomato, white cheddar cheese, cilantro, guacamole, salsa (I enjoy both red Salsa Casera and green Salsa Verde from Herdez), pickled banana pepper rings (I’ve been using some from Mt. Olive), and Celebrity Intern’s favorite, La Vaquita’s Crema Salvadoreña, a kind of El Salvadorean crème fraiche.

That’s it, that’s all. No fuss, no muss. Just great tacos. You’re welcome.

Also, if you’re looking for a great recipe for breakfast tacos, my fellow blogger Shim’s got you covered, over at Diet-of-Insects. (And no edible insects, I promise.)

A word to the wise: Go early. I mean, like, buttcrack-o’-dawn early! (They open at 7 AM, daily.) Otherwise, you will regret the error of your foolish, foolish ways. Especially if you’re looking for parking. OY!

Now, aside from having the most awesomely punny name in town (and me having missed this weekend’s O. Henry Pun-Off, scandal!), Juan in a Million has reportedly The Best Breakfast Tacos in Austin. This has now officially been confirmed by my co-workers, who reguarly bring in a couple of the Don Juan tacos to share. At 3 bucks (and 60 cents) a pop, and with multiple tortillas supplied to divvy the booty from “El Taco Grande” up, they can squeeze 4 breakfast tacos out of one Don Juan, so that’s some mighty fine bang for your buck!

The Don Juan and its not-so-secret ingredients, revealed! (photo by Flickr user Mike Barish)

The Don Juan comes with “a secret combination of potato, egg, bacon and cheese,” but you can also try the fajitas (beef or chicken), beef or chicken tacos, carne guisada, or guacamole tacos for significantly less fat cash (i.e. $1.95 and up). Mix and match ‘em for maximum satisfaction.

I’ll admit that I was a silly billy and went for a lunchtime menu item, the chicken enchiladas, when we first stopped by Juan’s fab taco house, but having tasted the (not-so-)secret sauce, I’ve seen the error of my ways. Sure, enchiladas are always a good bet, but their breakfast tacos are truly divine. Grab ‘em to go and win the undying loyalty of your staff by sharing them around the office!

After several attempts at parking, involving much hand-waving and finger-lifting at various psychotic Austin drivers (seriously, the 2801 Guadalupe location is a nightmare at rush hour), we were able to leave the BBT safely behind and head inside.

The atmosphere sucked, but on the plus side, the music was loud enough to drown out the cacophony of several half-retarded UT students in Uggs.

We were delightfully surprised by the tacos themselves. We got them to go, as we couldn’t stomach the crowd and its relentless burnt-orange tides. Upon unwrapping, we found our tacos slathered in fresh cilantro—the mark of deliciousness.

Celebrity Intern and I ordered three tacos amongst us: the Baja Shrimp, the Democrat and the Beef Fajita Taco. After devouring my Democrat (shredded beef barbacoa, onion, queso fresco, avocado, cilantro, lime and green sauce), I demanded half of the shrimp taco. Celebrity Intern was loathe to let go, but I wrenched it from his paw and took a bite. Sublime, the fresh snap of the shrimp! The egg-roll reminiscence of the cooked cabbage! The perfect spiciness of the pickled onions and jalapenos! I think I had a mouthgasm.

Celebrity Intern remarked that his Beef Fajita had “glorious, charred strips of beef,” so much so that although he hates grilled peppers, he didn’t even notice their presence amongst the cheese and the pico.

We both wanted to go back for another round. Or five. Torchy’s, we salute you and your Damn Good Tacos.

Photo via Sifting Through Austin

Entering the restaurant, there’s a tiny counter with the equally tiny menu. Choose from tacos, burritos, quesadillas, tostadas, tortas or flautas, and then pick your filling: ground beef, chicken, pastor, adobo chicken, steak, carne asada, bean and cheese, veggie or tilapia. We both went for the steak burritos, and DC ordered two Budweisers (they were on special, and apparently the restaurant only serves the day’s beer specials?). The guy who was taking our order asked if he wanted to keep one on ice, and was amused when DC replied that he was going to pound them.

We picked out a table with our drinks and sat down, and our food was served up in about five minutes. During our short wait, we decided that the little house in which the restaurant was located would make an ideal home, with its sweet hardwood floors and adobe airplane bathrooms (DC reported that he was so close to the automatic paper towel dispenser that it kept spitting out paper towels as he, um, completed the transaction), and wondered if we could find something similar for cheap on our apartment search.

I had ordered the verde salsa on the side, which was rated three peppers in heat, while DC picked the mere two-pepper green tomatillo. He questioned whether mine might burn me two times, but it turns out the verde isn’t quite as hot as the warnings imply.

After snarfing down our burritos, the verdict was that the food was fairly inexpensive, pretty tasty, but not quite as spicy as we’d imagined it might be here in the land of Tex-Mex delights. DC complained “Not enough meat! Too much rice!” but ultimately agreed that the food was delicious, despite the fact that their hot sauce was a mere 5.8 out of 10 on the hotness scale. “If you’re gonna call it ‘extra hot,’ it’d better still be burning me when we leave,” he advised.

Overall, The Screaming Goat is a good bet if you’re in the neighborhood, a nice alternative to chain taco joints, and according to Austin360 we should’ve tried their beef flautas, which are the tastiest things on the menu and only cost 75 cents on Sundays and Tuesdays.

Supplemental Parking Review: Parking is available behind the restaurant. Warning signs are posted, noting that your car may be damaged, as the lot is tiny and hard to maneuver into or out of—particularly with a behemoth rear-wheel drive truck like ours.