Archive for the ‘pizza’ Category

Paradise Pizza


2010
05.01

There’s a new kid on the block when it comes to Austin pizza, and its name is Pizza Paradise. Located at 1921 Cedar Bend, with delivery to Austin’s north side, this pizza parlor isn’t quite the slice of heaven its name implies, but it’s not exactly crap on a stick, either.

Celebrity Intern and I sampled their wares on a lazy Sunday evening when we didn’t quite feel like cooking. We called up, ordered a Chicken Bacon Bleu pizza (large), but were flummoxed by the fact that our phone order-taker informed us that they could only do a thin crust for medium sizes and smaller. Jigga-what? What diff does it make what size the pie? Serious. In NYC, this shit would be no probs, bobs.

Anyhoozle, we said “OK, whatevs,” and had them send out a large pie. We got it within the 40 minute predicted period, and the delivery dude was sweaty, but nice. Granted, he did have to climb 3 flights of stairs to reach us. And called to ask where the eff we were, in relation to the tennis courts (ed note: we ARE way hidden in our complex, and expect these types of frantic phone calls). We tipped generously, and then commenced to chow down!

The nomming was tasty, though not quite the Chicken Bacon Bleu of our dreams. Celebrity Intern complained about the lack of bleu cheese in every bite, and I felt it was somehow too much, yet not enough simultaneously. Perhaps it was the salt content? Rich, but ultimately not satisfying. Celebrity Intern pointed out that the chicken chunks were uniformly rectangular, a suspicious strike against them.

They are no Austin’s Pizza. No offense: the toppings that are there are plentiful, no doubt, but sub-par in quality. The bleu cheese was probably just some moldy cheese they had lying around. It was “clearly out of a can, or perhaps a sack,” according to Celebrity Intern. The bacon was tasty, though super salty.

We would like to see Pizza Paradise go whole-hog with their claims of greatness. Paradise = heaven! Let’s see some hustle, Pizza Paradise.

Overall grade: C-, or 3.2 out of 5 stars.

Guest Post: Angry Monkey Butler!


2010
02.17

This review comes courtesy of my intern/Angry Monkey Butler. Observe his rage!

so, when you order a pizza, do you then have “reasonable expectations” as to when said “order” should arrive? hmmmm well in the deep dark case of red brick pizza (tech ridge location) it’s left to the ether. when, maybe … YES… hmm… grrr, NO! do they offer an alternative? no. do they tell you about billing (online) when you have selected your wares? ummm, NO. do they EVER deliver a pizza? well, if that day ever comes i pity the delivery guy. will he scuttle back to base with tales of my blacklisted ass-hole-io-ness?? most certainly. i order a pizza, i get confirmation of said pizza, i wait for pizza, i call the outlet and ??? 2.5 hours later but NO pizza!? also no explanation. no “customer service.” nada. i mean, i could just go to HEB and get that kind of abuse WITH  my purchase. i wonder, what do you offer to the consumer, “red brick oven”??? i can always get a kick in the @#@$@ from the IRS. you lost your only chance. i hate you.

I concur with his findings: Red Brick Pizza SUCKS. Also, their number is apparently listed incorrectly both on the flyer we received AND in the “confirmation email” that told us our pizza was being processed. Who DOES that?!

UPDATE: 22 FEBRUARY 2010

After forwarding a copy of this guest post to Red Brick Pizza via their online contact form, we received a voicemail message (duh, we screen all our calls) from someone claiming to be in charge of this joint, asking us to please return the call so he could apologize personally. We were a bit flabbergasted by this request, seeing as there was no particular incentive to do so (i.e. there were no mentions of a free pizza, in exchange for the one owed us), and thus have chosen not to respond.

As an aside, here are some helpful hints for those making phone apologies to us in the future: be sincere, leave an actual apology in your voicemail (i.e. don’t ask us to make the effort to follow up when you were the one who screwed up!), and make us a deal!

Perhaps there’s a free pizza out there with our names on it, but Angry Monkey Butler and I don’t particularly care, at this point. As my mama used to say: First impressions are often last impressions, Red Brick Pizza. Why don’t you go carve that on your tombstone, cus you’re dead to me!

Austin thin-crust pizza round-up


2009
12.01

As the New Girl in town, I’ve been ordering a lot of pizza. I’m busy setting up a new apartment, trying to find a job, and just can’t be arsed to cook sometimes between the laundry and the blogging and the trying to find a decent damn dollar store where stuff actually costs only one dollar. I’m sure this happens to everyone. (Maybe not the dollar store thing.) Of course, being the New Girl, I also have no idea which places are good for delivery-style pizza. And, man, can this be a problem when it shows up at my door looking all sorry and smushed.

"Home Slice of My Heart" (photo by Flickr user FilmNut)

I’ve tried my share of the U.S. chains over the years, and while I seemed to recall Papa John’s being pretty good back in the days when I lived at my parents’ place and we actually had to pull a Seinfeld-esque scam to get them to deliver to us (the cut-off for delivery to our area was literally the house next door; we would give their address and sit in the driveway with the cash), it seems their wares haven’t withstood the test of time. Either that or I’m getting picky in my old age, but I’d like to think a cardboard-like crust has never qualified as a pizza.

Still, Papa’s got locations everywhere and you can order online, which is something a phone-phobic weirdo like me can appreciate. As some say, bad pizza’s like sex: even when it’s bad, it’s still pretty good.

I don’t typically share that opinion, however—not outside of NYC, anyway—so I’ve been on the hunt for a more satisfying pie. I gave Gatti’s a try, but was similarly disappointed in their thin crust. Their toppings, however, delighted me more than Papa John’s, and you can also order online. (Seems to be a trend here in town, which I applaud. Now if they’d just take Paypal…) Smoked provolone cheese on a pizza? Nice touch, boys. You’ve got goombatz.

After I got a hot tip from my banker, I hit up Austin’s Pizza. Of the thin-crust pizzerias in town, so far I’ve enjoyed Austin’s the most. Now, you can order online here, but it seems my credit card has expired (this after my fuggin’ bank just sent me a replacement card a month ago; nice job, maroons!), so I had to do it the old-fashioned way and call. The gal I spoke to was friendly and polite and gave me the same price they quoted me online, which includes a $2 delivery fee. I’ve noticed most of the joints around here have this fee, which ranges from about two to four bucks a pie, and it makes me wonder: does this mean I should leave out the tip for the delivery guy? Or is this just another way to jack up the price?

Anyway, Austin’s was smooth. You can get a small or a large (10 or 14″), build your own or pick from some of their tried-and-true selections. The Californian with grilled chicken, spinach, Roma tomatoes, red onions, garlic and cheddar cheese was calling my name, but I ultimately opted for a DIY mushroom + “breakfast bacon” (as opposed to “Canadian bacon”—which Canadians actually refer to as “back bacon”) + Jack cheddar cheese/mozzarella concoction that hit the spot. Nice thin crust, not at all cardboard-y (score!), plenty of cheese, salty bacon, and decent mushroom spread. Could’ve used a bit more from the topping distribution (I find Austin pizzerias to be a bit chintzy on the toppings in general), but it was definitely the tastiest thin-crust pie I’ve had thus far.

Oh: I was also terribly tempted to throw in one of their Butter’s Brownies, described as “A locally-made chocolate chip square of heaven, with a portion of the proceeds benefitting the Donna Hicken Foundation for women living with breast cancer, and the Mayo Clinic.” I mean, chocolate heaven AND donating to breast cancer? That’s hot! Alas, I did not give into this temptation, but perhaps next time. I do love me some brownies.

Giordano's: the One True Chicago Deep-Dish pizza!

I should add that I’ve also tried Conan’s Pizza, but I’m waiting on another suggestion from the Foodie Banker to compare and contrast their “Chicago style” with another in town. As a born-’n'-raised Chicagoan (okay, okay: I’m really from the western suburbs, but eff off, willya?), I’ve got hometown pride about the proper way to build an authentic Chicago deep-dish pizza. And obviously, Giordano’s is the One True Chicago Deep-Dish, but since they have yet to set up shop here in Austin, I’m giving the locals a chance to prove themselves.

So, any suggestions for a worthy pie—deep-dish or thin-crust? Knock my socks off!

Alamo Drafthouse


2009
11.19

I knew when I moved to Austin that I had to check out the Alamo Drafthouse movie theaters. The concept is simple: it’s a movie theater that also serves up booze. I’d heard Chicago has a similar concept happening, but Austin’s Alamo blows this out of the water. Not only do they serve alcohol and the standard popcorn and Junior Mints, but they’ve also got a full menu for those who like to take dinner and a movie all at the same location.

Alamo Drafthouse Ritz (photo via Alamo Drafthouse)

Alamo Drafthouse Ritz (photo via Alamo Drafthouse)

At first, you might wonder if all this chowing down and ordering during the films might turn a rowdy crowd loose, with NYC-style yelling at the screen encouraged. Luckily, the rules are simple and spelled out for newbies by groovy waitstaff: write your order on the slip of paper and place it standing up in the designated pocket. The waiter will come by to take and deliver your order silently, and will place a bill on the narrow table to pay before you leave. Warnings from Homestar Runner are also played onscreen to remind the audience to shut the heck up, turn off cell phones, and refrain from rowdy behavior. Sweet!

For those who do like to talk back to the screen, there’s another bonus: the Alamo’s Quote-Alongs and Sing-Alongs. Seen Ferris Bueller’s Day Off so many times you can quote the whole thing from start to finish? Lucky for you, there’s Quote-Along night, where “you’re *required* to yell out your favorite lines, stand up and dance to the best songs from the soundtrack, and play with a series of props that are handpicked for most movies.” For all those who’ve ever seen (and loved) the cult-classic Grandma’s Boy, there’s an upcoming Quote-Along scheduled for December 24. Even if you’re way too baked to drive to the Devil’s house and have a robot vagina, you won’t want to miss this one, Grey Bush.

As the type of person who likes to comment aloud on movies (especially the really bad ones), I’m pretty stoked about the Quote-Alongs, as well as their Weird Wednesdays (where only $1 gets you in) and monthly Dionysium debates (for those who like to get their think on). If you’re a hard-working member of the service industry, you also get a break on Monday-night movies, pizza and pints. Nice!

The menu varies from one Drafthouse to the next (there are four locations in total), but all feature movie-themed menu items such as “The Breakfast Club” (lettuce, tomato, smoked bacon and a fried egg on sourdough with chipotle mayo) and the “Royale With Cheese Burger” (an Angus patty with lettuce, tomato, onions, cheddar cheese, bacon and chipotle mayo). When I hit up the Alamo’s Village location, I tried one of their white wines during a viewing of Where the Wild Things Are. It was kind of surreal to be watching a kid’s book that had been made into a movie for adults whilst drinking wine as a few rugrats got scared to death a few seats over.

The only negative thing I can really say about the Alamo Drafthouse is that if you drink half a bottle of wine while you watch a movie, you’re probably going to have to use the bathroom about halfway through. This isn’t a big deal when you’re watching flicks at home and can just pause the DVD, but it’s a bit annoying to have to sneak out, pee, and come back to your seat. I guess this is probably why most theaters don’t serve alcohol. But then again, they do serve those giant 48-ounce sodas, so what do I know?

All in all, the Alamo Drafthouse is definitely my favorite cinema in Austin, and one of my top hangouts overall. Check it out and bask in one of the ways locals like to Keep Austin Weird.