Big-deal sponsors like Mashable have been rounded up by the lovely IleenieWeenie, the event’s organizer, and plenty of cupcakes will be on hand, thanks to local bakeries Lux Bakery & Cafe and The Cupcake Bar. T-shirts will be available for $12 a pop from Pinqued, and photos of the event will be snapped by Lori Luza of As You Wish Photography.

Tickets (and waiting-list tickets!) are all sold out, but they’ve recently added tickets for their Happy Hour, where free drinks from Treaty Oak Rum, Graham’s Texas Tea and TabbedOut will be served up (did I mention they’re TOTALLY FREE?!). Mix and mingle with the hardcore bloggers who stick it out to the day’s party-hearty end, and enjoy the musical stylings of Gina Chavez.

Sound like fun? Hit up the Eventbrite page to score your FREE ticket, and I’ll see you there!

Whoa. Hold it right there. I haven’t even covered Whole Foods yet, have I? Okay, let’s step back a bit. First, Whole Foods is known pretty much nationwide as an upscale grocery store, with all kinds of vegetarian and vegan-friendly fare, plus everything for anyone with special dietary needs, whether it’s gluten-free, low-carb, sugar-free, or just straight-up organic you’re looking for. It’s both the yuppie and the hippie’s wet-dream, which seems contradictory, but no! So, while you’re bound to find a lot of righteous, left-leaning types shopping there, many of whom embrace the Birkenstock sandal (with or without socks), you’re also bound to find a lot of farm-fresh produce, a vast collection of locally-made goods, and lots of preservative-free options. Whole Foods is very groovy, but also very pricey, leading some to jokingly call it Whole Paycheck.

Whole Foods was an Austin original, back in the day, specializing in organic and natural products. It’s now pretty much taken over the entire U.S. and part of the U.K., so if you’ve never heard of this place, you’re clearly living off the grid and grow your own fruit and veggies, slaughter your own meat, and have no need of their paltry contributions to living well. (And I envy you mightily!)

In response to Whole Foods’ runaway success, Central Market was born, providing a direct competitor to the Whole Foods crown. These guys are based in Texas as well, and focus on locally-made items, as well as bringing food for the foodie, plus in-store cooking classes for the culinarily inclined (check out their upcoming Summer in Málaga course on Spanish cooking with Alex Duran, Executive Chef & Co-Owner of Málaga Tapas & Bar on Aug. 11).

They also have some pretty kick-ass chefs whipping up delicious homemade meals for those on the go. So today I wanted to single out their Dinner For 2 options, which are posted on the website and can be downloaded as a PDF on a monthly basis. Dinners For 2 usually costs around $15 or less (the ones we saw in store on Saturday were $12.50, I believe), which is pretty phenomenal for the quality of food you’re getting. It’s like eating in a restaurant, but in the comfort of your own home.

Here’s a sample menu from the week of August 2 through 8:

• Monday: Chicken Poblano Enchiladas, Spanish Rice, Borracho Beans, CM Flour Tortillas
• Tuesday: Buttermilk Pecan Chicken, Whipped Sweet Potatoes , Green Beans Amandine, Honey Wheat Rolls
• Wednesday: Puerco Guisada, Lemon Scented Basmati Rice, Romaine Salad w/ Corn Salsa and Ranch Dressing, CM Flour Tortillas
• Thursday: Turkey Chile Meatloaf, Yukon Garlic Mashed Potatoes, Green Beans Amandine, Honey Whole Wheat Dinner Rolls
• Friday: Almond-Crusted Tilapia, Golden Rice Pilaf, Creamed Spinach, Mini Baguettes
• Saturday: Chicken Cordon Bleu, Creamed Spinach, Roasted Rosemary Potatoes, Mini Baguettes
• Sunday: Honey Garlic Flank Steak, Vegetable Fried Rice, Carrot and Snap Pea Saute, Dinner Rolls

Perfectly balanced meals of meat, vegetables, starches and bread for soppin’ or dippin’; what more could you ask for?

If you said dessert, you’re clearly a gourmand. But don’t worry: Central Market has their own patisserie on hand for all your cookie, brownie, cake, pie, tart, parfait and chocolate needs (see a delicious example at right). Yum!

Seriously, if you haven’t experienced the thrills of freshly-ground organic coffee, raw-milk cheese, or a selection of saké that’ll make your head spin, then you’ll want to check out Central Market. With two locations in Austin one at North Lamar (4001 N. Lamar Blvd.) and one at Westgate (4477 S. Lamar Blvd.), plus several Café On The Run locations in H-E-Bs across Austin, you’re sure to find something delicious for less. Bon appétit, frugal foodies!

That being said, chili is effin’ wicked in the summertime, too. As some Old Wives will tell ya, eating or drinking hot stuff actually cools you off. Dunno if I necessarily believe in this concept, but it sure is nice to stuff your gob with spicy deliciousness and then drink down a gallon or two of water. Pair it up with an ice-cold beer and some might even say you’ve got a little slice of heaven there, pardner.

As any good Texan knows, there are many different kinds of chili, not the least of which is “Texas style” chili—i.e. the no-bean variety that uses chuck roast rather than ground beef for the meat. Having done some time in Cincinnati, I’ve also come to appreciate the joys of a good Cincinnati chili, complete with cocoa powder and cinnamon, thin “gravy” style sauce, and fixin’s 2 (spaghetti + chili), 3 (add cheddar cheese), 4 (add diced onions or beans) or 5-ways (add diced onions and beans). And perhaps it’s the New Yorker buried deep down inside that says you’d better serve that chili on a Coney Island hot dog or it’s not worth bothering with.

As you can see, I love me some chili, in all its glorious incarnations.

The recipe I currently use, however, comes from Cook’s Illustrated and maximizes the spices combined to form this chili in the least amount of time possible, though it grows more tasty over time. I submit to you that this is actually The World’s Finest Chili recipe, in that it is infinitely customizable. Ingredients are kept basic, but fixin’s can range from a simple sprig of cilantro to the kitchen sink version of the dish, including everything from fresh tomatoes, diced avocado, sliced scallions, chopped red onion, sour cream, shredded cheese, up to extra shots of Tabasco or your preferred hot sauce. Yum!

Now, at this point in the game, I would typically type up a copy of the recipe for you to put to the test, but since it’s from Cook’s Illustrated and they absolutely deserve the credit from anyone who should find it here—not to mention the fact that I firmly believe that stealing someone’s intellectual property is the King of No-No’s and will earn you a one-way ticket to Bad Ju-Ju City—I must regretfully omit the specifics on this page.

However, if you want to check out the original recipe, which goes under the name “Beef Chili with Bacon and Black Beans,” I highly encourage you to sign up for a free trial membership at the Cook’s Illustrated website to get the straight dope right from the horse’s mouth. It’s a 14-day free trial of all the recipes on the site, and it’s really worth it if you like to cook. I realize this sounds like some kind of sneaky way for me to get you sign you up for the Cook’s Illustrated website with a concealed profit from said sign-up cha-ching!-ing somewhere for me, but I can assure you that this benefits me in no way. Heck, they don’t even have an affiliate program, which sucks cus, frankly, I would LOVE to be an affiliate of theirs!

Anyway, my point is that I admire the way they are all about maximizing the awesome factor of classic American recipes by making them tasty, foolproof, standardized and far less time consuming than their dusty, crusty ancestors. To be fair, yes, I am all about Cook’s Illustrated and America’s Test Kitchen, where their recipes are tasted, tested and released into the wild, but there’s absolutely nothing in it for me.

Unless, of course, you count delicious chili like this:

Cook's Illustrated Beef Chili with Bacon and Black Beans recipe burbling on the stove

Seriously, make some tonight and tell me you didn’t fall in love!

Oh, and here are the ingredients, in case you’d like to play detective on your own to figure out the golden copyrighted ratio:

• bacon
• onions (preferably red, but that’s my opinion, not theirs)
• red bell pepper
• garlic
• chili powder
• ground cumin
• ground coriander
• red pepper flakes
• dried oregano
• cayenne pepper
• ground beef
• black beans
• diced tomatoes
• tomato puree
• salt

It may not quite be elementary, Watson, but it’s darn close.

Old El Paso isn’t being particularly singled out here; it’s just one example among many. People seem to think that you need “taco seasoning,” purchased in a packet such as this one, in order to make great tacos.

This is a lie.

The way to great tacos, my friends, lies in combining just five important seasonings you probably already own. They are:

• chili powder
• cayenne pepper
• cumin
• oregano
• salt

You can also toss in some ground coriander seed, to bump up the corianderliciousness of your cilantro leaves (sprinkled over the top of the finished dish), but it’s purely optional. If you’ve got chili powder, cayenne, cumin, oregano and salt, you’ve got it made in the shade. Enough with the pre-packaged “taco seasoning”! Free your kitchen of this sodium-laden packet of injustice, and marinate your meat in deliciousness.

DIRECTIONS:

1. Brown about a pound of ground beef (or pork, or chicken, or whatever) in a buttered skillet.
2. Chuck in your minced garlic (2 or 3 good sized cloves) and chopped red onion or shallot.
3. Add your spices, as mentioned above, plus about a cup of water to create the “sauce.” My spice ratio is about a teaspoon to a tablespoon each of the coriander seed, oregano and cayenne pepper, plus about 1/8 of a cup of both cumin and chili powder; adjust these as you please for heat and general taste, adding more if you like it more savory. Simmer down your sauce, stirring occasionally, until most of the water has evaporated—about 10 minutes or so.
4. Spread on your favorite tortilla, garnish as desired, and enjoy. Suggested garnishes include: lettuce, tomato, white cheddar cheese, cilantro, guacamole, salsa (I enjoy both red Salsa Casera and green Salsa Verde from Herdez), pickled banana pepper rings (I’ve been using some from Mt. Olive), and Celebrity Intern’s favorite, La Vaquita’s Crema Salvadoreña, a kind of El Salvadorean crème fraiche.

That’s it, that’s all. No fuss, no muss. Just great tacos. You’re welcome.

Also, if you’re looking for a great recipe for breakfast tacos, my fellow blogger Shim’s got you covered, over at Diet-of-Insects. (And no edible insects, I promise.)

A word to the wise: Go early. I mean, like, buttcrack-o’-dawn early! (They open at 7 AM, daily.) Otherwise, you will regret the error of your foolish, foolish ways. Especially if you’re looking for parking. OY!

Now, aside from having the most awesomely punny name in town (and me having missed this weekend’s O. Henry Pun-Off, scandal!), Juan in a Million has reportedly The Best Breakfast Tacos in Austin. This has now officially been confirmed by my co-workers, who reguarly bring in a couple of the Don Juan tacos to share. At 3 bucks (and 60 cents) a pop, and with multiple tortillas supplied to divvy the booty from “El Taco Grande” up, they can squeeze 4 breakfast tacos out of one Don Juan, so that’s some mighty fine bang for your buck!

The Don Juan and its not-so-secret ingredients, revealed! (photo by Flickr user Mike Barish)

The Don Juan comes with “a secret combination of potato, egg, bacon and cheese,” but you can also try the fajitas (beef or chicken), beef or chicken tacos, carne guisada, or guacamole tacos for significantly less fat cash (i.e. $1.95 and up). Mix and match ‘em for maximum satisfaction.

I’ll admit that I was a silly billy and went for a lunchtime menu item, the chicken enchiladas, when we first stopped by Juan’s fab taco house, but having tasted the (not-so-)secret sauce, I’ve seen the error of my ways. Sure, enchiladas are always a good bet, but their breakfast tacos are truly divine. Grab ‘em to go and win the undying loyalty of your staff by sharing them around the office!

After several attempts at parking, involving much hand-waving and finger-lifting at various psychotic Austin drivers (seriously, the 2801 Guadalupe location is a nightmare at rush hour), we were able to leave the BBT safely behind and head inside.

The atmosphere sucked, but on the plus side, the music was loud enough to drown out the cacophony of several half-retarded UT students in Uggs.

We were delightfully surprised by the tacos themselves. We got them to go, as we couldn’t stomach the crowd and its relentless burnt-orange tides. Upon unwrapping, we found our tacos slathered in fresh cilantro—the mark of deliciousness.

Celebrity Intern and I ordered three tacos amongst us: the Baja Shrimp, the Democrat and the Beef Fajita Taco. After devouring my Democrat (shredded beef barbacoa, onion, queso fresco, avocado, cilantro, lime and green sauce), I demanded half of the shrimp taco. Celebrity Intern was loathe to let go, but I wrenched it from his paw and took a bite. Sublime, the fresh snap of the shrimp! The egg-roll reminiscence of the cooked cabbage! The perfect spiciness of the pickled onions and jalapenos! I think I had a mouthgasm.

Celebrity Intern remarked that his Beef Fajita had “glorious, charred strips of beef,” so much so that although he hates grilled peppers, he didn’t even notice their presence amongst the cheese and the pico.

We both wanted to go back for another round. Or five. Torchy’s, we salute you and your Damn Good Tacos.

Kerbey Lane Café, Northwest location (photo via kerbeylanecafe.com)

We found the Kerbey Lane Café, an Austin favorite that has apparently been voted “Best Breakfast” every year since 2005. Nice! Although we haven’t yet taken advantage of their crazy early-bird breakfast special (for a mere $3.45 between 4 and 7 AM, daily), we like the thought of a resto that’s open 24-7 and has a slightly more upscale ambiance than (our admittedly cheesy fave) Denny’s. Inspired by the fact that their Northwest location was open today, we set out in the Truckasaurus to taste the Kerbey Lane Café’s wares.

DC ordered their Cobb Salad, which he’d been salivating over since he noticed it on the web version of the menu. I dithered for a while, trying to decide what would be best, kind of wanting to order a Cobb Salad of my own, or maybe one of their Cobb Sandwiches (basically, a Cobb Salad on bread), but hating that feeling of “copying” a fellow diner. (I like to at least be able to trade a bite or two with my dining companions, to get a better idea about what the rest of the menu is like.) Ultimately, I went with the Chicken Enchiladas Verde, and we also tried the Bloody Mary (he) and Kerbey Kosmo (me) from the drinks menu.

I enjoyed my Kosmo, which was a local twist on the typical Cosmo made with Tito’s Vodka and pomegranate liquor. I had a sip of DC’s Bloody Mary, which was a real kick in the teeth with its spiciness. He thought it was tasty, as he enjoys a good Caesar (or Mary in a pinch).

Annoyingly, when the food arrived I was all the more disappointed in my selection. Should’ve had that Cobb Sandwich! I had a few bites of the Husbot’s big salad, with bleu cheesiness, hard-boiled eggs, bacon, chicken and romaine lettuce galore, and was totally jealous. My enchiladas were okay, but nothing like the spicy authentic Mexican dishes I’ve gotten used to eating here in Austin. I can’t really put my finger on anything I would say was bad about them, but they just weren’t as face-meltingly hot as I like them to be. On the plus side, however, I had room for dessert, which was what I had really wanted to order since we walked in!

Checking out the dessert menu, I noticed they listed cheesecake, and said to inquire with the waiter about daily specials. I asked what the cheesecake of the day was, and our waiter told me it was a peanut-butter and chocolate concoction. Yum! I ordered a slice and offered a few bites to DC, who thought it was “too rich.” (He admits he has lost his taste for desserts since a particularly sweet-toothed ex-girlfriend ruined him with too many breakfast sweets.) I thought it was delicious, although I will also admit to enjoying the pleasures of a straight-up plain cheesecake, which I would be curious to compare it to in the future.

All in all, I would have to say that the Kerbey Lane Café (Northwest location) was a decent spot for lunch, and I’d be interested in giving them another try. The waiter also noted that different locations have different menus, so I’m wondering if perhaps there are other items I might enjoy more than the enchiladas in the future.

ADDRESS: 13435 Highway 183 N. (Northwest location; see website for other locations)
PHONE: (512) 258-7757
ONLINE: kerbeylanecafe.com

Alamo Drafthouse Ritz (photo via Alamo Drafthouse)

At first, you might wonder if all this chowing down and ordering during the films might turn a rowdy crowd loose, with NYC-style yelling at the screen encouraged. Luckily, the rules are simple and spelled out for newbies by groovy waitstaff: write your order on the slip of paper and place it standing up in the designated pocket. The waiter will come by to take and deliver your order silently, and will place a bill on the narrow table to pay before you leave. Warnings from Homestar Runner are also played onscreen to remind the audience to shut the heck up, turn off cell phones, and refrain from rowdy behavior. Sweet!

For those who do like to talk back to the screen, there’s another bonus: the Alamo’s Quote-Alongs and Sing-Alongs. Seen Ferris Bueller’s Day Off so many times you can quote the whole thing from start to finish? Lucky for you, there’s Quote-Along night, where “you’re *required* to yell out your favorite lines, stand up and dance to the best songs from the soundtrack, and play with a series of props that are handpicked for most movies.” For all those who’ve ever seen (and loved) the cult-classic Grandma’s Boy, there’s an upcoming Quote-Along scheduled for December 24. Even if you’re way too baked to drive to the Devil’s house and have a robot vagina, you won’t want to miss this one, Grey Bush.

As the type of person who likes to comment aloud on movies (especially the really bad ones), I’m pretty stoked about the Quote-Alongs, as well as their Weird Wednesdays (where only $1 gets you in) and monthly Dionysium debates (for those who like to get their think on). If you’re a hard-working member of the service industry, you also get a break on Monday-night movies, pizza and pints. Nice!

The menu varies from one Drafthouse to the next (there are four locations in total), but all feature movie-themed menu items such as “The Breakfast Club” (lettuce, tomato, smoked bacon and a fried egg on sourdough with chipotle mayo) and the “Royale With Cheese Burger” (an Angus patty with lettuce, tomato, onions, cheddar cheese, bacon and chipotle mayo). When I hit up the Alamo’s Village location, I tried one of their white wines during a viewing of Where the Wild Things Are. It was kind of surreal to be watching a kid’s book that had been made into a movie for adults whilst drinking wine as a few rugrats got scared to death a few seats over.

The only negative thing I can really say about the Alamo Drafthouse is that if you drink half a bottle of wine while you watch a movie, you’re probably going to have to use the bathroom about halfway through. This isn’t a big deal when you’re watching flicks at home and can just pause the DVD, but it’s a bit annoying to have to sneak out, pee, and come back to your seat. I guess this is probably why most theaters don’t serve alcohol. But then again, they do serve those giant 48-ounce sodas, so what do I know?

All in all, the Alamo Drafthouse is definitely my favorite cinema in Austin, and one of my top hangouts overall. Check it out and bask in one of the ways locals like to Keep Austin Weird.

Photo via Sifting Through Austin

Entering the restaurant, there’s a tiny counter with the equally tiny menu. Choose from tacos, burritos, quesadillas, tostadas, tortas or flautas, and then pick your filling: ground beef, chicken, pastor, adobo chicken, steak, carne asada, bean and cheese, veggie or tilapia. We both went for the steak burritos, and DC ordered two Budweisers (they were on special, and apparently the restaurant only serves the day’s beer specials?). The guy who was taking our order asked if he wanted to keep one on ice, and was amused when DC replied that he was going to pound them.

We picked out a table with our drinks and sat down, and our food was served up in about five minutes. During our short wait, we decided that the little house in which the restaurant was located would make an ideal home, with its sweet hardwood floors and adobe airplane bathrooms (DC reported that he was so close to the automatic paper towel dispenser that it kept spitting out paper towels as he, um, completed the transaction), and wondered if we could find something similar for cheap on our apartment search.

I had ordered the verde salsa on the side, which was rated three peppers in heat, while DC picked the mere two-pepper green tomatillo. He questioned whether mine might burn me two times, but it turns out the verde isn’t quite as hot as the warnings imply.

After snarfing down our burritos, the verdict was that the food was fairly inexpensive, pretty tasty, but not quite as spicy as we’d imagined it might be here in the land of Tex-Mex delights. DC complained “Not enough meat! Too much rice!” but ultimately agreed that the food was delicious, despite the fact that their hot sauce was a mere 5.8 out of 10 on the hotness scale. “If you’re gonna call it ‘extra hot,’ it’d better still be burning me when we leave,” he advised.

Overall, The Screaming Goat is a good bet if you’re in the neighborhood, a nice alternative to chain taco joints, and according to Austin360 we should’ve tried their beef flautas, which are the tastiest things on the menu and only cost 75 cents on Sundays and Tuesdays.

Supplemental Parking Review: Parking is available behind the restaurant. Warning signs are posted, noting that your car may be damaged, as the lot is tiny and hard to maneuver into or out of—particularly with a behemoth rear-wheel drive truck like ours.