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Jimmy Dean Breakfast Bowls: Don’t do it!


I’m normally a fan of Jimmy Dean and his tasty breakfast sausage, so when Celebrity Intern and I saw some of these Jimmy Dean Breakfast Bowls in the frozen food section at the grocery store, we decided to give ’em a whirl. Hell, the sausage ones claim to have 21 grams of protein, and the bacon ones 28 grams.

Sadly, lots of protein—in this case—does not a tasty breakfast make.

While the Jimmy Dean Breakfast Bowls do only take 3 minutes to heat up, this failure pile in a sadness bowl (thank you, Patton Oswalt, for the appropriate lingo) is decidedly lacking in both the taste department and aesthetic appeal.

Here’s what I suggest instead of the weird frozen eggs, minimal sausage and cafeteria-style potatoes: EGG BOWL À LA SHOESTRING

  1. Grab two eggs and your milk (or cream) from the fridge.
  2. Crack the eggs into a decent sized bowl (i.e. small enough to fit into your microwave, big enough to hold 2 eggs with some extra room for them to expand).
  3. Pour in a little bit of milk and whip those eggs with a fork until they’re frothy.
  4. Stick this mixture in the microwave for one minute. Stir. Return to microwave and heat for another minute or so. You’ll know they’re done when you can see the eggs rising up the side of your bowl, threatening to climb over the sides like a blobby monster that wants to eat YOU for breakfast. (They should still be slightly moist at this point. DO NOT OVERHEAT!)
  5. Grate some cheese on top and let ‘er melt/cool down for about a minute.
  6. Transfer eggs to a plate or slap ’em into a tortilla for a breakfast taco and enjoy.

3 minutes to deliciousness. No sadness bowls. No failure piles. Just good eatin’. You can also jazz this up into a microwavable fiesta by adding a spoonful or two of your favorite salsa on top of the eggs, and slicing up an avocado to put underneath. Go all out and put a little sour cream on top and you’re in heaven. Trust me, your stomach will thank you.

And stay away from the Jimmy Dean Breakfast Bowls! As this blogger backs me up, those things are lethal.

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