It’s the final Friday in February (try saying that 3x fast!), and what a fabulous Friday it is! Jerry Seinfeld’s in town, with two shows tonight at Bass Concert Hall, and it looks like tickets are still on sale (including some sweet obstructed view seats—seriously, what’s up with that?!) if you’re looking for something hilarious to do this evening. Shows are at 7 and 9:30 PM, so choose wisely, grasshopper.
photo by Andrew Brusso
Oh, and BTW: you can legally call someone a “wacko,” as a court recently ruled in favor of Seinfeld’s joking about a woman who had sued his wife for plagiarism of her cookbook (another charge dropped). Jury’s still out on “whacko,” though, so mind your Hs, mister.
If you’re more in the mood for a free event, particularly one that’s literary, check out the Smoking Typewriters reading at BookPeople. Get your reading and your rebellion on, all in one place! Historian John McMillian talks about the underground press of the 1960s starting at 7 PM. Nab a copy and support indie lit!
Finally, if you’re looking for LOTS more freebies here in Austin, you’ll definitely want to check out Free Fun in Austin. While lots of their freebies are family-oriented, site owner Heidi also regularly posts coupons you can use at local restaurants and businesses even if you don’t have a gaggle of kiddies in tow. Plus, I learned about COUPAWZ on her site (a forthcoming “Groupon for pets”), which is donating a bowl of food to one of my favorite animal rescue groups, Austin Pets Alive!, if you sign up for their newsletter in the month of February. GO! DO! NOW!
As you may already be intimately familiar with the Alamo Drafthouse’s wild and crazy “Weird Wednesday” programming by Lars Nilsen, I won’t belabor the point. Suffice to say, this week’s offering is entitled Black Cobra which, according to Lars, features Laura Gemser as “a stripper with a python act who has a very strange effect on two brothers — sleazy charmer (and her real life husband) Gabriele Tinti and the late, great Jack Palance, as a bizarre, ranting snake fetishist.”
All we can really say is… it’s $1, it’s weird, and it’s Wednesday in Austin. So why the hell not? (18+, by the way, and all Weird Wednesday shows start at midnight.)
For more deets on upcoming Weird Wednesday offerings, check Lars’ blog, or dig the Austin Chronicle‘s interview with the man himself for insight into some very twisted minds and movies.
But…
Perhaps you’re into a different kind of weirdness?
The Alamo’s Ritz location is also showing the Bette Davis classic All About Eve this Wednesday at 7 PM, hosted by drag queen extraordinaire Rebecca Havemeyer.
Live pre-show antics may or may not include “mystery guests, live animals, live-via-satellite mayhem, and enough song and dance to win a blue ribbon,” so don’t miss this blast from the past if you’re big into Bette, bitches and booze!
Since there’s not much to look forward to in February in the colder climates of the U.S., I guess they had to come up with something to stave off the winter blues. Therefore, today is “National Margarita Day,” a not-quite-holiday celebrated mainly at Jimmy Buffett‘s chain of Margaritaville restaurants.
Sadly, Austin is not on the list of hotspots that Jimmy’s booze-lovin’ restaurant has bequeathed a totally random reason to drink on a Tuesday night. But that doesn’t mean you can’t celebrate on your own, chasing after a lost shaker of salt in a Margaritaville of your own devision!
Historically speaking, the Food Channel informs me that the original Margarita was actually named in honor of socialite Margarita Sames, who needed a cure for the heat of the Acapulco dust and sun. If you want to whip up a frozen Margarita of your own, here’s a recipe for success (via Gayot.com) from former NYC Rainbow Room bartender and founder of the Museum of the American Cocktail, Dale DeGroff:
INGREDIENTS:
3/4 oz. freshly squeezed lime juice
1 1/4 oz. Cointreau
1 1/2 oz. 100% blue agava plata (or silver) Tequila
HOW TO:
Pour all ingredients into a shaker filled with ice.
Shake well.
Salt half the rim of your martini glass with Kosher salt (not iodized).
Strain mixture into the glass and enjoy!
And for Austinites looking for a reason to get out on the town, Hudson on 5th Patio Bar and Lounge (301 W. 5th) will be offering premium Margaritas for $4 a pop from 8 to 11 PM. Hit them up to vote on some of their unique takes on the classic Margarita, picking one that they’ll permanently add to the menu. Who says democracy is dead?!
P.S. Seriously, dudes, who wants to road trip to visit the Museum of the American Cocktail with me? Sounds like a tipsy way to spend a weekend in New Orleans. You can apparently find them at 1 Poydras Street, Suite 169 for those in search of an historic tipple or two.
"The Apotheosis" - Hot Prez-on-Prez action with Washington & Lincoln
Looking for a good time? Want to have some fun on the cheap? Never fear: Freebie Friday is here! Check out our picks for the best free (and cheap) events happening in Austin this President’s Day weekend.
Cheap Date Night: Posh on a Budget (5 PM to midnight @ The Belmont – 305 W. 6th; $39.95 gets you dinner for 2, including 1 appetizer, 2 entrées and 2 glasses of wine)
Got any recommendations for free/cheap fun we’ve missed? Tweet us @ShoestringATX!
This week in Weird Wednesday: Broken Spoke closing? NICE TRY!
I’m pretty sure the owners of the Broken Spoke know nothing about this (judging by their full calendar through February, not to mention the fact that that ain’t their phone number…), so when you show up and start hauling off their celebrity pix, they’re gonna be phoning the cops and/or breaking something hard over your head!
In further CL freebies, dude, grab this rocker for your porch before it’s gone!
Okay, so it doesn’t have an artfully-fauxhawked ‘do, but it looks like it’s pretty good shape…
And if you’re in need of an enema (or 4), don’t miss “four fleet enemas” South of Ben White!
iPhone schmiPhone! Sure, it’d be nice to have this little gizmo in our bags for easy access to, well, EVERYTHING at the tap of a touch-screen, but who can afford the evil crazy data plan? Not this little Shoestringer, that’s for sure.
So Celebrity Intern and I, glamorous as we may appear, each have a different Pay As You Go cell phone plan, because while we love technology, thriftiness wins out over pointless expenditures. (Seriously, Apple. You couldn’t include free wifi like the nice folks at the Kindle did?)
If you’ve been trying to find ways to save money on expenses, we highly recommend trying a Pay As You Go phone option. Sure, they’re not as cool as the latest and greatest, but they get the job done. We use our phones for crazy, old-fashioned junk like PHONE CALLS, not downloading ringtones and games and hitting up the Internet every time we can’t figure out where we are on a good old-fashioned paper map. We also text peeps on occasion, though you get dinged if you don’t have a texting plan (depending on your provider).
Here’s how our two Pay As You Go companies stack up.
TRACFONE
Motorola W376g
The most popular PAYG phone in the U.S. is the Tracfone, for its easy-to-determine rates, no-nonsense approach, and no-frills phones. I bought a Motorola W376g flip phone with Bluetooth, a VGS camera and double minutes for life for $29.99 at Target, and it works great for my purposes.
Minutes start at $19.99 for 60 (with 90 days for possible usage) or $9.99 for 30 minutes if you don’t mind having to use them up in 30 days. Adding minutes is easy, as you can purchase them online, from your phone, or through a card purchased at lots of vendors (including Target and various convenience and grocery stores across the U.S.).
Texting is a bit annoying because it shaves off 1/3 of a minute every time you text someone OR receive a message, giving you odd amounts of time left, but overall I can’t complain. This phone does exactly what I need it to do, with no extra bells and whistles, and every time I flip it open I can see how many minutes I’ve got left and the date my phone will “expire” if I don’t add more minutes. Easy as pie, though not a great option if you tear through minutes like a wild boar on a rampage.
CRICKET
For those who chomp through minutes like crazy, Cricket is undoubtedly your best best for a PAYG device. Although Celebrity Intern hates their phone with a passion (it doesn’t flip, nor slide, nor do anything to protect the keypad from deploying the Internet—at extra cost to you—ALL. THE. TIME.), the plan itself is solid. Here’s how it breaks down:
Pay only on the days you use your phone
Choose from the über no-frills $1/day plan (with unlimited calling time throughout your area, unlimited INCOMING text messages, and 10-cents/message for outgoing texts) or bump it up a notch to $2/day to get unlimited talk + U.S. long distance + texting (including pix and international texts!). You can even go for the $3/day plan to get unlimited talk, texting and mobile web access nationwide, if you MUST have your precious Internets on the go.
Dial it up to the better plan when you’re flush with cash or need to call your mom in LA for a marathon chat-sesh, or scale it back to the cheapest plan when you’re broke-ass and counting pennies
Add any amount you like via your phone or PAYG cards purchased in convenience stores, dedicated Cricket stores, and Target or WalMart
Slightly more confusing set-up than the Tracfone, though ultimately cheaper if you like to talk a lot. Great if you can plan ahead which days you’ll NEED the phone, so you can literally only pay for certain days of the week. Granted, life is usually not like this, but if you wanted to use the phone, say, for business purposes, you could use it only 5 days a week, amounting to $20/month in phone bills vs. the usual $40+ bill you’ll get from even the cheapest of network plans.
Personally, I dig not having to watch the minutes drip down on the Cricket phone, although I absolutely HATE that it doesn’t display how much time/money is left on the phone the way the Tracfone does. Knowing you’re only spending $1 or $2, really and truly, per day you’re using the phone is comforting as well, since you can plan to do your long-distance chats and rapid-fire texting on the weekends, bumping up to the $2 plan for best effects, and then lower it back down to the $1 plan during the week if you’re making mainly local calls with fewer texts. Perfect for the penny-wise consumer!
Now, if only Cricket would offer a couple more flip phone options (they currently offer one—the CAPTR II at $39.99), they’d really be playing with fire.
RECAP
In short: if you’re a talk and text-hungry consumer, Cricket PAYgo is chirping your name. If you’re conservative with your minutes and like to have an “emergency” phone for talking and texting on the run, Tracfone is just your speed. If you want a nicer-looking phone with more up-to-date options, Tracfone is your friend, and if you don’t mind having your ass dial for you, then hit up Cricket. Both are easy to use and refill, both are cheaper than standard monthly plans, and neither requires contracts, credit checks, insane bills or hassles. Save your diñero; go Pay As You Go!
Cooking a whole turkey is a pain in the bum, as you probably know from such horror stories as Thanksgiving, and possibly Christmas kitchen snafus. For Valentine’s Day, you don’t want to get all hung up in the kitchen, trying to make something delicious but screwing it up because it’s excessively complicated or time-consuming.
So definitely don’t make a whole turkey, because who the heck is going to eat it all anyway? You and your 6 girlfriends? C’mon, guy, be a romantic for once. Invite only your best girl, and cook her something impressive.
Cook her a sweet-ass roasted turkey breast, with garlic mashed potatoes.
“But wait,” you say, “Didn’t you just tell me NOT to cook a turkey?” I did. It’s not actually a contradiction, because cooking a turkey breast, is a freaking snap. Just ask my favorite minimalist, Mark Bittman, from whom I’ve learned everything I ever needed to know about cooking good food cheaply.
You’re probably not going to believe me when I say that it’s cheap, too, but it is. Celebrity Intern and I paid about $6 for a nice, meaty turkey breast at the H-E-B, and it easily serves 2 hungry people, with even enough leftover to make your sweetie a sandwich the next day.
Okay, you’re salivating, right? You’re sold! So how do you cook the damn thing? Simple.
Heat your oven to 450 F.
Bust out your roasting pan (or if you’re a broke-ass like me, craft a little “tray” for the turkey out of tinfoil, and put the tinfoil tray on top of a baking sheet), put the turkey breast in it, and brush it with olive oil.
Season the turkey with salt and pepper, and maybe a little thyme if you’re feeling wild and crazy.
Stick it in the oven for between 30 and 45 minutes. Bittman says to baste it every 15 minutes, but I find this step unnecessary; the olive oil will lock all the delicious juices in, so just take it out when your thermometer reads between 155 and 165 F.
Let the breast rest for 5 or 10 minutes, then carve that sucker up and EAT!
Did I say it was easy? It’s crazy easy, really. And if we’re about anything, especially on romantical “holidays,” it’s BEING EASY. (*rimshot*)
Okay, cool, but plain old turkey isn’t a meal. Spruce this thing up and make it look respectable with some tried and true mashed potatoes. But let’s get funky on this biz and make them über-tasty GARLIC mashed potatoes instead, shall we?
To get down:
Stick your potatoes (preferably red ones or nice Yukon Golds) into a pot of water, so that they’re covered. Toss in a couple of cloves of garlic, whole, for good measure. Bring ‘em all to a boil. Yes, you should leave the skins on. They taste better this way, so quit whining.
Boil your potatoes until you can stick a knife or fork in without any trouble. Timing here depends on the size of your taters, so anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour may be required (i.e. start these at the same time you’re starting your turkey).
Once boiled, drain out the water and add in 1/2 stick of butter, 1 c. milk or cream and a few (3 or 4) cloves of minced garlic. Get mashin’! (Bittman notes that here you can be a wild and crazy Frenchman like Joël Robuchon and add 2 sticks of butter, along with your 1 cup of cream, which I heartily endorse if you are so equipped; butter, as we all know, is the grease of love.)
LET’S EAT!
Put it all together with a bit of gravy (yes, I bought mine at the store; it’s Heinz Homestyle Roasted Turkey Gravy, and I won’t tell if you won’t), et voila!
So…. succulent…
Yes, we are quite fancy with our white wine and books showing off in the background, aren’t we? Care to join us and make it a threesome? (Just kidding.) The white wine you want, for the record, is a nice Beringer Pinot Grigio for only $5 a bottle.
To make the whole thing utterly romantic and indulgent without breaking the bank on chocolates and feeling too bloated to do what you both came to do here (*hint-hint*), what would be the perfect end to this meal? Two mini Häagen-Dazs Single Serve Cups from the grocery store. At $1 a pop, you can get the delicious Dulce de Leche, Chocolate, Vanilla or Strawberry flavors quite reliably, and sometimes even the Coffee one as well. Bite-sized and affordably decadent; can I get a “Hell yeah!”?
TOTAL DAMAGE:
Turkey breast, $6
Garlic mashed potatoes, $2
Gravy, $2
Wine, $5
Ice cream, $2
GRAND TOTAL FOR A ROMANTIC DINNER FOR 2 = $17
Where else are you going to get easy, inexpeez suggestions like these to score with your lady-friend on Heart-Day for less than twenty bucks? NOWHERE BUT HERE, BABY.
Dare to live cheaply and eat well, on Valentine’s Day and every day. Embrace your inner Minimalist!
A new addition to the Shoestring Austin weekly updates, we’ve virtually teamed up with local animal rescue group Austin Pets Alive! to bring you CATurday, an entire day devoted to cats! But not just any cats; every week we’ll feature a new cat currently available for adoption, to help spread the word about pet rescue, foster homes for abandoned animals, and others ways you can help make Austin a No-Kill city.
If you’ve been thinking of adopting a pet, please consider Austin Pets Alive! to help you find a new friend for life.
To kick off our first CATurday, please check out Queenie‘s profile.
She’s a small black and white shorthair cat with a tendency to be shy around people, but once she gets to know you, she’ll purr like a motorboat. She enjoys cuddling up next to people, playing with laser pointers, and keeping her tuxedo looking fancy with regular grooming sessions.
Born in February 2008, she’s currently in foster care and looking for a forever home. Won’t you make her birthday special this year and adopt this super-cutie?
More info on adoption via Austin Pets Alive!:
All APA! foster kittens/cats are litter box trained, tested for FeLV/FIV, spayed or neutered, vaccinated, treated for worms/fleas, microchipped and come with a 30-day health insurance plan.
If you have additional questions about Queenie or would like to adopt her, please email APA! at adopt@austinpetsalive.org.
If you aren’t yet familiar with Brooklyn’s Food Experiments, an homage to the fine art of competitive cooking, now’s your chance to bone up. Dynamic duo Nick Suarez and Theo Peck are kicking off their national tour here in Austin with a no-holds-barred, spatula-whippin’, food-flippin’ chance to win culinary glory and a trip to the High Holy Hipster Center of the Universe, aka BROOKLYN!
That’s right, folks: NYC-style competitive cooking meets Austin weirdos. Hold on to your holsters and steady your Stetson!
On Sunday, March 13, the Food Experimenters will be here, in the flesh, stirring up a pot of trouble filled with sweet, juicy pork for The Pork Experiment. From 12 to 4:30 PM, contestants will woo the crowd with porcine delights, in an attempt to win the title of Porkiest Pig.
Tickets to the event are $20 ($25 the day of) and enable you to sample 20 to 25 entries, sip a complimentary Brooklyn Brewery Beer (and see if it’s any match for local fave Shiner Bock!) and get your foodie flag flying with fellow Austin chowhounds at Club de Ville (900 Red River).
Ladies (and a number of gentlemen, for that matter) LOVE chocolate. It’s a simple fact. Chocolate stimulates the “love” or “pleasure” centers of your brain, which is why some theorize that the womenfolk are so into it, but whatever the case, the fact of the matter is this:
Valentine’s Day celebrations just ain’t complete without a little chocolatey goodness.
Granted, the good stuff can get pricey, and although your goal is to impress your lady friend, you want to maintain some semblance of normality. I mean, a chocolate-covered boyfriend is pretty hot, but like The Simpsons‘ Apu, who wants a nut in their eye or nougat in their ears? (Not to mention the overly-high expectations you’ll then have set for every major holiday; who needs the pressure?!)
Chocolate Volcano Cups (image via H-E-B)
If whipping up a batch of Chocolate Volcano Cups from the recipe in February’s My H-E-B Life Magazine doesn’t sound like your idea of a good time, here are our lazy-man’s suggestions on what to give the chocoholic in your life this V-Day.
GODIVA
Any man, woman or child not already familiar with Godiva chocolates is clearly living in a sub-par world of chocolate. Named after the infamous lady who allegedly rode through the streets of town stark-bloody-nekkid, their chocolates are smooth, silky, and completely decadent.
Unfortunately, their prices are pretty reflective of that. BUT! You can satisfy your lover’s sweet-tooth with a small sampler, letting her subtly know that while you love her enough to send the very best, you also have issues with overpaying for treats. It’s a nice mixture of indulgence and attention to budgetary issues.
For the cheapest bite of luxury, check out the Godiva Chocolatier Gold Party Favor (4 pieces) for $7.50 at Amazon.com. Also recommended:
Signature Chocolate Truffle Assortment (4 pieces) at $9
Cherry Cordials at $10
Gems Sweetheart Message Truffles at $18
LINDT
Definitely the least expensive (but one of the most satisfying!) of all our delicious chocolatey options, Lindt actually sells single servings of their tasty chocolate truffles for 37-cents a piece at Amazon. Seriously, I’m not sure how much lower you can go. But if you really want to go hog-wild (get it?), give her an entire bag of these babies and watch her eyes burn with passion for your sweet, sensitive bum. (P.S. A 5-ounce bag of mixed truffles is only $4.99).
GHIRARDELLI
For the displaced Californians amongst us, Ghirardelli chocolates are king. With single-serving packets of their cocoa available for $1 and individual milk-chocolate squares with caramel for $1.29 at Amazon, they’re an affordable gift for all of Austin’s west-coast transplants. Surprise them with a bag of Ghirardelli’s trademark squares for only $3.49.
HOT CHOCOLATE OF THE GODS
Finally, we can’t recommend this product enough, despite its distinctly un-shoestring price. If you’re going for the gusto this V-Day, check out Petrossian’s Hot Chocolate-on-a-Stick. It’s $18 for 6 sticks of Belgian chocolate, which you swirl into hot milk or cream to create the world’s best mug of hot chocolate, EVER. It’s honestly an orgasm in a cup, and VERY highly recommended. (Even Oprah digs these, as they note on their site they were featured as one of her Top Gifts of 2009.)
Got a favorite chocolate brand or treat you like to give (or receive!) on Valentine’s Day? Let us know in the comments section, or tweet us @shoestringATX with deets!
If you’re more in the mood for a free event, particularly one that’s literary, check out the Smoking Typewriters reading at BookPeople. Get your reading and your rebellion on, all in one place! Historian John McMillian talks about the underground press of the 1960s starting at 7 PM. Nab a copy and support indie lit!
